Saturday, July 3, 2010

Weighty issues...*sigh*

Why is we are never happy with ourselves?  I try so hard to be content and happy with...'me' but there is always somthing I pick at.  At the moment its my weight.
its funny, you know, Ive never had weight issues EVER in my life until I hit my 30's.  (or is it since having kids...mmmmm???)
I was always a slim ( I used to weigh 49 kgs before kids), fit, healthy girl that could eat what ever, when ever and could wear pretty much anything.  Now its all about calorie counting, counting points, portion control, weighing, measuring, not wearing certain things etc etc...This is all quite foreign to me.  Dont get me wrong...I have always eaten quite good, even as a teenager I was more of a subway eater rather than good ol' Maccas.  Ive never realy liked deep fried or greasy food In fact the thought of that sort of stuff turns my stomach *ugh*.
Im now a 31 year old mum of 2.  I weigh 59-60kgs and Im 162cm tall.  I know Im not grosley over weight and to be honest I dont want to sound as though im obsessed, but I am bigger that what I used to be and it feels bizzare.  I would like to get to 55kgs to feel healthy. 
The problem is it is soooooo hard, I try....I realy try!  I do the portion control and points thing for about 6 weeks and the weight does come off however when i start baking or cooking things for the family it slowly, slowly comes back on.
I do go to the gym, I love the gym but at the moment Im in the process of changing gyms... woohoo! so I havnt been for a while....Im hanging out for the new one to open this Tuesday YAY!
I guess what Im trying to say is why does weight loss need to be an issue with us all?  Im not talking about unhealthy, overweight obeseness...that is a whole nother issue, but Im talking about those couple of extra ones that creep on.
I hate them, I want them gone, because I know a few grow to many... but I also enjoy me it is the soul of life.  I like my food.  I enjoy wholesome food, comfort food, entertaining food and healthy food.  It all good. 
I was looking at Jennifer Aniston the other day and I thought "wow...she has an AMAZING body AND she is *shock shock* 40!!!!!!"
I did the same with Gwyneth Paltrow a while back who I think is about 37..amazing body and what sucks is she has had 2 kids *sigh*
I also happen to know these two beautiful woman work their butts off like nothing else.  They have personal trainers, dieticians, MONEY! a nanny, gyms in their own home and watch every little thing they eat.  They are super lean and work hard for it...Good on them I say BUT lets get back into the real world.
I...a 31 year old married mum who rarely has a baby sitter, struggling to make ends meet with money, struggles from day to day just to get... life done.  No help, nothing.  I do it all alone (with my hubby of course)....and besides, I kinda want to enjoy what I have which often involves food.  I dont want to pick food to bits and scrutinise each and every bite...  I would LOVE to look like those girls, but I somehow need to find a happy place with it all.:0( 
I just wish I could be happy with the way I am.  I 'Think' I look ok but my mind tells me constantly Im not what I used to be....why cant I be the way I used to be??? (size 8)
Anyway, I guess it will just be one of those life long issue with all woman...somthing that will never end untill I just simply learn to be happy with 'ME'!

No comments:

Post a Comment