My poor Mamma.

 I must dedicate this weeks Blog to my beautiful mamma.  I Know I want my total Blog to be positive and happy, However today Im so worried and concernd for my mum.
Last wednesday evening my mum was walking down her outdoor stairs to water her garden and she had a bad fall.  Not just a slip, but a fall...bad!  We rushed her to the ER and they took her straight in...AND it was a crowded room too.  It tuns out she has broken her jaw in 2 places and shattered her chin.  Im so, so sad.
Im the type of person who instantly thinks the worst.  Without going into to too many details she was a mess.  lost a tooth etc.  NOONE SHOULD EVER SEE THEIR MOTHER LIKE THIS!!!!
My mum is 60 years old, had a sad life and at times she infuriates me like nothing, BUT at the same time she is one of my best friends and she single handedly raised me the best way she could and for that I love her deeply.  I couldnt sleep at all wednesday night...My mind kept thinking "what if was worse, what if..., what if..., what if..."
I know I shouldnt but I do.  Yesterday was a right off for me.  After dropping my kids at school I went to bed and pulled the blankets up over my head and stayed there for 2 hours.  Crying and sleeping.  My stupid irrational fears, insecurites and anxiousness overwhelmed me.  Im trying so hard to be positive.  Sometimes its hard but I know I gotta try.  I have to.
At this very moment my mum is in surgery getting it all fixed.  Im going up to see her soon.  I know she'll be ok.  I just gotta keep telling myself.